We are doing better so far this week. I am not sure what inspired the change. A went to stay with my Mom for the weekend and spent his time outside running around and being indulged by his Grandma. I spent the weekend eating my way through all the restaurants around town and spending time with W. It was a nice weekend. I really didn't know how easy I had it with just one child.
I think the time away was good for A and I both. S and I were able to have some conversations about being on the same page with discipline. We are still not in accord with what to do but we did come up with some ideas that we plan to implement this week.
I have come to realize that part of the problem is definitely me. Yes, I know that the 3 readers of my blog probably came to that conclusion weeks ago but I just realized it over the weekend so give me a break. I have been feeding the flames with my reaction to A. I guess I just didn't realize how much until I decided to break the situation down into things that I can control. I cannot control A's behavior. He is a human being and will act how he choose. I CAN control my reaction to him as well as how I choose to teach him about behavior. I CAN lead by example.
My stepdad pointed out that it would be more damaging to A not to show him how to be socially appropriate and compassionate towards others. He is so right. We all remember those kids growing up that nobody wanted to play with because they didn't share, hit, and were bratty. Those kids grow up eventually and end up being the adults that no one wants to play with or work with. So, I realize how important it is to do something about A's inappropriate behavior. I just need to figure out a way to do it that suits his personality. I seriously don't want to end up as an episode of Supernanny two years from now.
Starting yesterday I have been more conscious of my treatment of A. I have been more appreciative of the good things that he does. More calm when he tests his limits. So far it has been working, but A really hasn't been testing me that much either. I am not sure if this is because he senses the change in me or just because he hasn't felt the need to be fractious yet. Time will tell, I suppose. In the mean time I am going to work on appreciating the wonderful aspects of my son's personality.
King Arthur Flour Bag Chocolate Chip Cookies
5 hours ago
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2 comments:
Oh, I am so glad things have settled a little bit. At least that will give you some rest and energy to greet the problem when it comes again.
I think you'll start to realize that your positive attitude toward things will actually improve the situation dramatically. I know it sounds silly, but just *feeling* like you're more in control of the situation helps. A will pick up on all of this.
I'm really proud of you for making these changes... and no, I haven't known for weeks what you could be doing to improve things- trust me, I'd tell you.
When I'm back in Cali we'll get together more often... Deacon had so much fun playing with A.
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