Sleep Training Vent

I have lurked on an April 2008 birth board for a few weeks now just to see how little W is comparing to other newborns from April. It is interesting to come to one of these boards as a veteran mommy instead of the bright eyed newbie I was when I found the May 2005 board that I still belong to for A.
The biggest posts for new moms is how to get their children to sleep through the night. I can totally understand why this would be important for everyone. Really, I do. A slept like crap until he was probably close to 4 months old, and even then he wouldn't nap during the day unless I was holding him or next to him until he was probably close to 6 months old. I spent a lot of time obsessing about sleep and how I could get A to sleep more.
What really irks me about people is when they decide to "sleep train" their newborns to try to get them to sleep through the night. "Sleep train" for these people is basically an excuse to use the Cry it Out (CIO) method. Now, the experts are calling it "self soothing." What about a newborn screaming her head off for 30 minutes is soothing, I might ask?
I really don't understand how people can do it with a newborn. The way these people talk its like they think that by crying their baby is trying to manipulate them some how. Like these (in some cases) 3 week old infants really know how to do that.
When I tried CIO with A it was terrible. He screamed for almost 30 minutes nonstop. When he finally stopped screaming I checked on him and he had passed out from exhaustion. What little hair he had was matted to his head with sweat. His face was still red and he had tear tracks down his cheeks that were still wet. He was still crying in his sleep. Little snuffling cries and whimpers that pierced my heart like an arrow every time he did it. I felt like a total shit and that is when I made the decision to let him call the shots and never to let him cry like that again. Eventually I stopped stressing about it and just resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be sleep deprived. I drank more coffee to not feel tired. All of a sudden I was much happier because I wasn't trying to force the issue. A was happier because he was running the show and I was less stressed. Yeah, it sucks being sleep deprived but it really is only temporary.
Sometimes a newborn will cry so hard that they puke on themselves. Really, that can't be good, especially when you are trying to establish a trusting relationship with them. All they want is to be with their mommies and to be held and comforted. Sometimes that is all I want too and I am 31 years old. I can't imagine being so small in such a big world and being expected to reconcile the fact that there are times when Mommy wants to hold you and then there are times when she doesn't or can't. Because they want Mommy all the time regardless.