Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I need to stop reading the news

Ugh. On cnn.com today there was a story about a man who tortured a woman by raping and sodomizing her in her apartment for 19 hours. The things that man did to that woman are horrifying. Here is the link if you want to disgust yourself
Man convicted in graduate student torture
When I read things like this I always wonder what the mother of the man who did this is thinking. Does she blame herself? I know I would. I would constantly wonder where I had gone wrong in raising my son to have no regard for human life. Memory by memory I would slowly sift through the past and analyze everything I had done or said to my son to find a clue as to why he had become a monster. How do you continue to love someone like that? Or do you?
What no one explains to women before they get pregnant is that parenting is not only important and imperative to you and your livelihood but also that of others. Someday your children will be able to assert their will on others. They will be citizens of the world and can choose to be the source of joy to others or the source of sadness.
My sister works with youthful offenders for the Department of Corrections. Most of these young men were convicted as adults of adult crimes (murder, rape, etc.) but are too young to enter the general population of a state prison (we are talking like 15 or 16 year olds that would get eaten alive by the older prisoners). Some of these kids will be in jail for the rest of their lives as they serve out sentences for the most heinous crimes imaginable. She says that the running theme with most of these kids is that they endured the worst childhoods imaginable. Exposed to things that the young and innocent shouldn't be exposed to their impressionable little minds were hardened by fire instead of softly moulded like clay. And when they became old enough they inflicted torturous acts upon others.
I cry sometimes when I think about certain of these man-children. There are those that with the right guiding hand could've been something wonderful. Already their lives are over before they even began. These kids were let down by their parents and let loose on the world.
Sometimes after a really hard day with A I go and watch him sleeping and think about my monumental role as a mom. Someday my son and daughter will be let loose on the world as well with the gift of free will and the lessons I have taught them to guide them. I fervently hope every day that what I have done for them is enough. I also have newfound respect for my own parents, especially my mom.
Just look at my son's eyes. How could anyone abuse a child?And now for something completely different...

2 comments:

Amanda said...

I have an uncle who isn't in a good situation- really never grew up and got in a lot of trouble. I have no clue if my grandparents treated him any differently than they did my mom and my other uncles and aunt- but he's the only crazy one. So I do feel for those moms who have children who turn into such horrible people. It just hurts my heart to think that all these people have a mom at home- but part of me wonders if their mom is just as crazy.

Oh, and your kids are way cute... I love the chubs.

Swistle said...

Ug, it's awful, isn't it?